The probe up my bottom...

[Peer]

Note: this is Peer the movie lover speaking, not SlySoft.

Inspired by a most stunning comment on the latest talk about BD-Live:

"If studios want to know how many times I'm watching their movie, that's up to them and I don't really care"

That incredibly brainless comment really knocked me off my chair and I hit the ground with my head hard.
A very weird dream followed. I was witness to a street-interview in 2034....

"So, how do you feel about the latest developments with blu-ray discs requiring you to be online to view the movie, you just bought?"

"Oh, if studios want to know how many times I'm watching their movie, that's up to them and I don't really care.
You see, I never understood why so many people make such a fuss about harmless little things like taking fingerprints of people traveling by plane - that doesn't hurt. Terrorists are everywhere, as we all know.
Ever since they are taking my fingerprints, I feel a lot safer. I mean how are terrorists going to beat that? Chop off their fingers?" (laughs)
"And the new naked scan technologies whenever you enter a store. Occasionally the staff laughs about my little Willie (hehe), but what price is that compared the the newly gained safety?
Oh, and would you step back a little - when we're standing so close next to another it might look like a conspiracy on my police-cam.
Actually my neighbor got arrested last week, because the automatic lip-reader(tm) on the police-cam mistook his words "spill peach lemonade" for "kill people on parade". He's still in, isn't that hilarious?!?
I used to be really against these police-cams, really don't know why... Such a laugh, sometimes....
After all..." (turns face to police-cam and smiles broadly) "...if you have nothing to hide, there's nothing to fear, right?

Oh, and by the way - see this here, that's the really cool stuff. Blu-Food(TM) they call it. It looks like real Food, only that it comes without the fiber and without vitamins and stuff.
Now here's the deal: along with Blu-Food you get these free (!) probes that you can see sticking up my behind. Every time I eat my Blu-Food, it connects to the internet and then some high-speed supercomputer magically calculates the right amount of vitamins, fiber, minerals and all - and they get released directly into my colon, crazy isn't it?? This way I'm completely in control of my nutrition!
Sure, Blu-Food is a little more expensive, but that's understandable, after all you get the probes for free!

I forgot why that stuff is not in the Blu-Food right from the start, but there was a really good reason, I'm sure. I don't really care.

The probe is a little irritating, but if I lean forward just a little bit, like this, see? Then it's actually quite enjoyable.
Of course, my back starts hurting then after a while - I'm still trying to figure out the right balance.
Cool. Really cool, I like these modern things. They keep my mind off the downsides of life...

Like my health insurance fees doubling up. They said it's because of my state of health, because of my gastritis.
I have no f***ing idea, where they got that information from, that should be between my doc and me. Guess he must have talked...

OK, gotta go now - I'm extremely excited, because I'm going to watch a movie that I bought a year ago, really expensive one, too.
That bloody thing refused to play all the time, I spent a small fortune on technicians trying to fix this.
Now guess what, turns out, I simply mistyped my address when requesting the movie to get unlocked over the Internet. Really didn't deserve better.
Hilarious...Such a laugh, sometimes...."

 

[linx05]

It must be great to earn so much money and work on a great piece of software which would be illegal anywhere else, and still have fun poking your tongue out at the thieving, contriving businesses that want to shut you guys down.

 

[Chris Gonzales]

BD-Live: Endless possibilities

BD-Live is very practical. For industry control freaks, that is.

A possible future scenario:

Imagine you view your BD-Live movie on your Blu-ray player.
Afterwards you borrow that BD to a friend. He/she puts it in his/her Blu-ray player - and receives the message "Sorry, this Blu-ray movie disc has already been registered to another device. Please buy your own copy of XYXY. You have [3] retries to insert a valid BD movie."

Your friend gives back that BD to you. You insert the BD in your player and receive the message "Your BD movie has been abused by another Blu-ray player. Please note that we cannot allow this violation of our end user license agreement. Therefore this BD has been disabled permanently. Please buy a new copy of XYXY."

You decide to sell that BD on Ebay. The new owner puts the BD in his player and receives the message "Sorry, this BD has already been registered to another device. Please buy your own copy of XYXY. You have [3] retries to insert a valid BD movie."

Meanwhile, your BD-Live player informs you "We have registered the second violation of our end user license agreement in a row. Please note that we will have to disable your Blu-ray player permanently in case of another violation."

And you start praying that the Ebay buyer doesn't re-sell the malicious BD again...

Meanwhile at the industry database, three new flags are set for these three registered Blu-ray players.
Your player will be marked as "2 EULA violations, possible pirate", the other two as "1 EULA violation, under surveillance".


Second possible future scenario:

You are a pr0n fan. You like to watch movies with "oral action". Your player informs the BD-Live database about your viewing habits.

Now every time you start your BD-Live player it automatically downloads and displays commercials featuring new "oral action" videos upon startup.

Imagine watching a romance movie with your new girlfriend. You insert the romance BD, the player starts and then...


Endless possibilities.

 

[Charlie]

I personally don't like to think of these scenerios but it is reality. I knew this time would come but will the BD-Live ordeal go to court like the sony rootkit? I thank slysoft everyday for the work they provide so we don't fall victim.

 

[Rusty257]

I feel your pain. Comments like that make no sense to me either. I would not mind (though not agree with) if that was a feature not a requirement. Give me the ability to turn that off and keep it off. If it’s required then my parents will never be able to go Blu. Living out in the middle of nowhere has its perks, but high speed internet is not one of them. So all of these people with dial-up will just be left out in the cold? Yeah good thinking there studios who don’t make enough money anyway. You are actually limiting your profits by alienating some of your customer base.
Or another example would be traveling, portables will surely be on they way soon, so oops “I am sorry sir, the port in portable actually meant you need to plug a cable into a network port. Sorry for the inconvenience” Same for laptops with BR drives.
Give me a break. When will they learn?

 

[damnskippy]

My thoughts exactly, Peer, thanks for saving me the time of typing something!

 

[Webslinger]

 

[BDMinus]

LOL that made me laugh what peer wrote. Just wait for a future revision of blu-ray where a few "exciting features" have been added like hidden wireless internet via cellphone networks for the user friendly feature of "no internet required bd-live" and serial numbers and GPS tracking that provides theft deterrence.

I can't wait!